I am sitting here writing this the morning after getting back from a week long trip to England. I woke up this morning confused as to why I was no longer in a tiny hostel room with one of my best friends quite literally MELTING due to the lack of air conditioning. Instead, I am home and feeling quite sappy and emotional about this last week. I have AC and my cozy bed, but I can’t help but miss my busy days in London. Don’t get me wrong, I am super stoked to be home with my family but I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss it already.
As an introvert who loves to travel, I’ve always felt a weird push and pull between being home and being away. Though nothing compares to the comforts of home, part of me will always be too inquisitive about the world to not go exploring.
To put it simply, England (London, specifically) has been a dream trip of mine for as long as I can remember. I remember watching 101 Dalmations when I was a kid and thinking how lovely they had portrayed the city in cartoon form and wondered whether it was just as lovely in real life. Additionally, my parents got engaged in London which is perhaps one reason why I’ve always felt an inexplicable draw to the city. Essentially, my story begins at the moment when they committed themselves to one another in that restaurant in London. Next, enter the One Direction fangirl days which really solidified my love for the country. A little embarrassing? You bet, but I needed to add that to emphasize how long my admiration for England has gone on. There’s no solid explanation as to why, just a collection of little reasons, I suppose.
What I’m feeling right now is a weird mix of nostalgia, sadness, and pure gratitude. When I get home from a trip, I tend to have a day or two of recharging that often leaves me feeling a little bit dejected. The nearly instant change of reality can leave me feeling quite drained. It’s not so much that I’m unhappy with my life at home, but going from 24/7 fun and then back to real life with responsibilities can be a bit shocking. You know the morning after a concert when you wake up feeling out of sorts and a little bit sad because it’s over? It’s like that except you have a large pile of laundry to do and a suitcase to unpack.
As much as I am writing this for you, my audience, I am writing this as a reminder to myself. I want to remember the way I feel in this moment at 19, having just gotten home from one of the most life changing trips that I’ve been on thus far. It’s not so much that anything miraculous happened that made it so amazing, but rather, the way that I felt. Sometimes, our emotions, though inexplicable to anyone else, are enough.
So, my message to you is to never underestimate the power of traveling. You will come across people who will try to convince you that security is worth more than wonder when in reality, nothing is more damaging to the human spirit than the never ending chase of security. Let yourself wander. Let yourself get a little lost every now and then.